The 25 Best Strap-Ons and Harnesses for Every Kind of Play in 2022: Lovehoney, Babeland, Lelo, Ella Paradis, Amazon | SELF

2022-12-23 20:32:27 By : Ms. Suya Zhu

By Anna Borges and Sara Coughlin

Finding the best strap-on for you is like finding Goldilocks’s porridge: It’s a bit tricky to get one that’s just right. As with any sex toy, your and your partner’s personal tastes will determine how much you’ll enjoy the strap-on. Whether you’re new to strap-on sex or not, navigating the many options between harnesses and dildos can be overwhelming. To help you decide which strap-on to take for a spin, we rounded up a mix of reviewer favorites, recommendations from sex educators, online best sellers, and picks from people who actually use them. Before we dive into the products themselves, here’s everything you need to know about buying a strap-on. Male Masturbator

The 25 Best Strap-Ons and Harnesses for Every Kind of Play in 2022: Lovehoney, Babeland, Lelo, Ella Paradis, Amazon | SELF

When buying a strap-on, you’re usually buying two things: a harness and a dildo. You’ll often find beginner kits that include both to streamline the buying process, which can be excellent and affordable starter options. On the other hand, choosing a harness and a dildo separately can mean matchmaking the best fit for your preferences, since there are several factors to consider for each.

If you decide to go the mix-and-match harness and dildo route, Babeland sex educator Lisa Finn suggests having sexual partners split the decision. “If you’re shopping for a strap with a specific partner in mind, here’s my advice: The top person picks the harness, the bottom person picks the dildo,” Finn tells SELF. That way everyone is comfortable with the strap-on as a whole. She notes that some strap-on wearers may want a say in the look of the dildo to ensure they’re comfortable with it in terms of gender expression, but the person receiving should have the final say in terms of size and texture. For people who are more vers or switch, meaning that they enjoy both giving and receiving, Finn suggests a mix-and-match whereby everyone has their favorite harnesses and dildos.

According to Ashley Cobb, founder and host of Sex With Ashley and sex-toy reviewer, harnesses typically come in three main styles: jockstrap, thong, and underwear.

There are also less common styles, like thigh, chin, or chest harnesses; suspender harnesses; or strapless strap-ons, which require no harnesses at all. These less common styles may be good options for people concerned about gender dysphoria. “Some people like thigh harnesses specifically because they want hands-free play but really don’t want to think of the dildo as any kind of phallic object, and having it mounted on their pubis isn’t something they vibe with,” Carol Queen, PhD, staff at Good Vibrations, tells SELF.

Queen says that the style of strap-on you choose can also depend on the size of your dildo. Underwear-style harnesses tend to be very comfortable, but if you want to use a large dildo, they probably won’t provide the support you need. If you like a large dildo, she suggests using a harness with straps you can tighten for support instead.

The style of harness typically informs the type of sizing available; jockstraps and thongs with adjustable straps usually come in one or two sizes and can fit a variety of bodies, whereas underwear harnesses are sized like similar articles of clothing. Adjustable harnesses might be a better choice if you plan on sharing your harness with a partner or want the option to adjust based on fluctuations in your body size.

How comfortable a harness feels to wear and how easy it is to use can go hand in hand, or one element can detract from the other, depending on the quality or type of your harness. Cobb says that the two-strap styles tend to have much better stability than the single-strap thong, which might make it easier for beginners to control.

Comfort is a bit more personal. Cobb recommends looking at how low the harness would sit on your body. “Will it press uncomfortably on the pubic bone?” she says. “You don’t want you or your partner to be in pain while using the strap-on.”

When it comes to actually using your strap-on, sex educator Cassandra Corrado tells SELF that the best way to get used to it is simply by wearing it. Wear your harness around the house while you’re doing laundry or dishes, just to see how it feels on your body. Then add the dildo. “Get used to the weight and movement just when you move around your home,” she says. “Don't be afraid to be a little silly and practice some thrusts too.”

If you practice taking your strap-on harness on and off and practice thrusting with your abs instead of your hips, you can feel more confident the first time you use your strap-on for real.

You should also take into consideration the material, not only for comfort but also for how easy it is to clean and share, if that’s something you plan on doing. “Harnesses can be leather or fabric,” says Cobb. “Leather tends to be stronger. However, it’s a porous material and is not meant to be shared because you cannot sterilize it. Fabric or nylon harnesses are quite comfortable, washable, and can be used on multiple partners.”

Lastly, you’ll want to look at what’s known as the O-ring—the ring through which you stick a dildo. You want it to be the correct size for whatever size dildo you pair with it, so check to make sure the diameters match up. Some harnesses come with multiple O-rings of different sizes that you can swap in and out, while others have elastic O-rings that can stretch to accommodate a variety of dildos. O-rings can either be metal or a softer material like rubber, Queen says. Metal fittings can add to the design of a strap-on harness (imagine a black leather strappy harness with bright silver fittings—sleek, right?). But metal is hard. If a harness has metal buckles, make sure they aren’t going to dig into you and your partner.

Beyond that, there are a few more factors that might influence your taste as well (such as how a strap-on looks when you wear it or how easy it is to put on or swap out different dildos for more variety), but the above are solid starting points. With all of this in mind, here are some of the best strap-ons and harnesses to choose from—recommended by people who use ’em. We included both combo kits and individual harnesses.

All products featured on SELF are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

This five-inch dildo is designed with pegging (or anal penetration) in mind, but Cobb recommends it for anyone who wants to start small, including for vaginal play. At under $50, it's also a budget-friendly sex-toy option.

What people are saying: “This strap-on is perfectly sized for beginners,” says Cobb. “Easy to put on, perfect size, and easy to insert with a small amount of lube.”

To say the Joque ranks as one of the best strap-on harnesses out there is an understatement. Several of the experts we consulted sang its praises.

What people are saying: “This harness offers great support and is adjustable for different body sizes and toys," Jennifer Litner, PhD, sexologist and founder of Embrace Sexual Wellness, tells SELF. "The straps are reinforced, which gives the feeling of a more traditional climbing harness and offers greater durability.”

“After many years of using leather and metal harnesses, I found this comfortable and user-friendly harness and haven’t looked back,” says Ori Nelsen, PsyD, clinical sexologist, doctor of psychology, and founder of San Francisco Intimacy and Sex Therapy Center. “I love it because it’s super versatile, friendly to lots of body types and sizes, vegan, metal-free, and very comfortable for both the wearer and the other partner/partners.”

“The Joque is super easy to put on and doesn’t restrict movement, plus my weight fluctuates a lot so I can adjust the sizing as needed,” Lisa Finn, sex educator, and brand manager for Babeland, tells SELF.

This lacy, playful harness comes with three interchangeable O-rings so you can mix and match dildos.

What people are saying: “As a femme top, it’s hard to find a harness that is cute but also functional, and I was pleasantly surprised by this one,” Lily A., 22, tells SELF. “Unlike [other] lacy panty-style harnesses out there, this one offers a lot of stability and control. The padded straps are a nice comfy touch too.”

Cobb recommends this for anyone who wants to start small but thinks they might size up in the near future, since it comes with two dildos. This kit also comes with a bullet vibrator, which you can slip into a built-in pocket to add more sensation for both the giver and receiver.

What people are saying: “As soon as you’ve become used to the smaller one, it’s an easy transition to the next [size up],” says Cobb. “Plus, the O-ring is changeable, so you can later get even larger dildos and still use the harness.”

This beginner set comes with an adjustable, jockstrap-style harness and a small, four-inch dildo, making it especially effective as a beginner’s anal strap-on.

What people are saying: “I bought this set when my partner and I wanted to try pegging,” Melissa R., 28, tells SELF. “We weren’t sure if he’d like it, so we went for something inexpensive, expecting to level up to something higher quality if it would be a regular part of our sex life. We haven’t needed to, though. We use it a lot, and it still fits our needs: comfortable, sturdy, compatible with multiple dildos, and machine-washable.”

Compared to many strap-on harnesses on the market that adjust up to only 60 inches, this Curvy Collection strap-on harness extends up to 82 inches. Plus, the padded back support provides extra comfort and stability.

What people are saying: “This harness is great for the price. It will fit a person of many different sizes," writes one reviewer. "The straps hold securely and don't loosen. The O-rings are interchangeable via the front snaps; this can be very helpful if your stash of dildos varies greatly in diameter.”

RodeoH is perhaps the best-known brand when it comes to underwear-style strap-on harnesses, boasting multiple styles—from lacy panties to retro boxers—and a large variety of colors.

What people are saying: “For people who find loops and straps to be confusing or restricting, this product is great,” Dr. Litner says. “The brief underwear design allows for comfort and support to insert one’s device of choice.”

“I’ve had countless partners rave about RodeoH briefs, which are stretchy and wide—they won’t cut into your skin the way a traditional strap-on harness would,” Rae Chen, sex expert and founder of theNotice, tells SELF.

This set comes with a basic, adjustable harness, but the vibrating dildo is really the star of the show. Whether you’re going for G-spot or P-spot stimulation, the Pegasus’s curved shape is designed to hit it. Bonus: It comes with a remote to control it more easily during strap-on play.

What people are saying: “The harness itself is good, but the dildo is AWESOME," writes one five-star reviewer. "The material, shape, and vibration are all great. I haven't found a better vibrating dildo yet.”

This unique strap-on is kind of a mix between an underwear strap-on and a jockstrap strap-on. The elasticized waistband allows you to slip on the harness like underwear, but the strappy design offers a stable fit and access to the wearer’s vagina or penis. Unlike the other harnesses on this list, though, you can’t swap out different dildos; what you see is what you get. The silicone dildo itself is also hollow, making it a lightweight option.

What the people are saying: “It's been the best strap-on I've ever used. It’s so easy to pull off and on—no complex harnesses," writes one reviewer. "The dildo is the perfect size and feels good. I even bought one to keep at my partner’s house. We both love it!”

This toy can be used with a harness, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s great for people who want to be penetrated while also penetrating someone else. The internal bulb for the wearer vibrates along with the external bulb, and rabbit-style ears can stimulate the wearer’s clitoris.

What the people are saying: Sex therapist Megan Fleming, PhD, appreciates this strap-on for its versatility.

Like the look of leather but not actually the leather part? Allow us to tempt you with this sexy lace-up harness made of vegan leather. With four adjustable straps, it fits hips that are up to 72 inches, which the manufacturer says is suitable for roughly sizes 12 to 30.

What the people are saying: “I have had other [harnesses] and this is the best, most beautiful, most adjustable, and comfortable by far! I would recommend this to anyone with a larger frame. I am thrilled with the way it looks, fits, and feels,” writes one five-star reviewer.

Sex educator Luna Matatas likes the Pink Candy Minx, as it’s ultra-adjustable because of its corset back and multiple adjustable straps. It’s also cute, with a dark pink and white leather design. The O-ring is interchangeable to accommodate many different dildo sizes, and the harness can adjust to fit hips up to 60 inches.

What the people are saying: “Because it’s so adjustable, you can potentially get more stability of your dildo, making it easier to thrust,” says Matatas.

Unicorn Collaborators on Etsy makes many of the less common types of strap-on harnesses, including this thigh harness that fits around a 30-inch thigh (but can be custom-made to fit larger bodies at the same price). These are hand-made leather harnesses. A thigh harness won’t be for everyone, but it can be an amazing option if you want to be able to get physically closer to your partner during sex.

What the people are saying: “Thigh harnesses sometimes allow for more power in thrusting, more stamina, and more opportunity for body-to-body contact,” Matatas says.

This harness comes with a special plug made to fit with Doc Johnson Vac-U-Lock dildos, which are designed for better control and stability. You might like them if you’re looking for a realistic strap-on. However, the plug is removable, and without it, this padded harness is compatible with a variety of non–Doc Johnson dildos too. Reviewers shout out its comfort and sturdiness at a more affordable price.

What people are saying: “There are a ton of harnesses on the market, and this one has been around for years for a reason. It works well. Great design, simple to use. No flopping, no slipping, no breaking. Works well for [all gender expressions] and dildos in many sizes and girths. Highly recommend,” writes one reviewer.

Although this strap-on is technically built for anal sex, the interchangeable O-ring makes it easy to use with any kind of dildo. This strap-on comes with two dildos, three different-size detachable O-rings, and a bullet vibrator that fits into a pocket in the harness or into a dildo to add some vibration to your play.

What the people are saying: Dr. Fleming loves that this harness is machine-washable and is size-inclusive, fitting hips up to 65 inches.

Rabbits are one of the most popular styles of vibrators, thanks to their ability to stimulate your clitoris at the same time as your G-spot. With this set, you can use a rabbit vibe with your strap-on—the vibrator that comes with it can vibrate at three speeds and nine different modes. The harness itself is an adjustable, two-strap fabric style, which should give you plenty of control.

What the people are saying: “This toy is so versatile! It has a really smooth shaft and tip too which had really easy insertion without any friction. Overall it's a great toy and harness that delivers with rumbly vibrations,” writes one reviewer.

This bikini-style strap-on harness is another that’s great if you like a more feminine look, Queen says. It’s a thong harness, with a single, thin strap coming through the legs and connecting to two more thin straps around the thighs. This set comes with a harness with a 1.25-inch diameter and can adjust to fit hips up to 60 inches.

What the people are saying: Reviewers note this one is excellent for beginners and people who want a smaller dildo.

If you’re looking for a more femme strap-on, Queen likes the Sasha Couture Harness (especially in red). The Sasha looks like a cute set of underwear, with lace trimming and a little bow on the front. It’s designed to accommodate dildos ranging from 1.25 to 2.25 inches in diameter.

What the people are saying: “The Sasha harness is like no other. It's gorgeous to look at, more comfortable than most underwear, multifunctional, and easy to care for—hello, machine washable!" writes one reviewer. "There are pockets inside the dildo pouch for vibrating bullets which is a very nice addition, and I love the wide waistband. What I love most about Sasha is the attention to detail. The back panels of the pouch area can be moved to the side to accommodate double-ended dildos, or to allow someone to keep the base of the dildo flush against their body if desired.”

The coveted SpareParts Joque harness has a counterpart in the Deuce, which is designed for people who have a penis. It can be an amazing option for people who have trouble getting erections or who just want to try double penetration without adding a third partner to the mix.

What the people are saying: “It has two holes, so you can either wear two dildos (for double penetration) or people with a penis can put their penis through one of the holes and attach a dildo to the other,” Corrado says.

“Strap-on sex isn’t just for your hips—you can get harnesses made to fit many different parts of your body,” Corrado says. This harness by Sportsheets is comfortable and machine-washable, with Velcro straps and an interchangeable rubber O-ring.

What the people are saying: Thigh harnesses like this one “can be easier for folks in wheelchairs or who have other movement disabilities or difficulties,” says Corrado.

The leather construction of this bestselling harness lends a sleek, strong look.

What the people are saying: “As a bisexual woman, I'm looking for a strap-on that makes me feel sexy when I'm connecting with my lovers of all genders," ​​Celeste Hirschman, MA, cofounder of the Somatica Institute, tells SELF. “As a sex educator, I also want to recommend a harness that is sturdy and keeps your dildo in place. For both of those reasons, I love the Jaguar harness.”

Made of high-quality Lycra and featuring a particularly stretchy 1.5-inch O-ring, this harness from Fetish Fantasy can fit a wide range of strap-on dildos (even some that are designed to fit a 2-inch O-ring). It also has a covered pouch that works well with double dildos.

The 25 Best Strap-Ons and Harnesses for Every Kind of Play in 2022: Lovehoney, Babeland, Lelo, Ella Paradis, Amazon | SELF

Prostate Massagers What the people are saying: “From what I can see it’s the only strap that you can easily use with a double-ended dildo," writes one reviewer. "It’s very easy to put on and take off, even when you’re in a rush. It seems to fit all our other dildos too.”